New Year, New You! Blah!!!

Happy New Year!

Last week I came across an article in a magazine that was about some celebrity I've never heard of. The title of the article was a quote from her: "You can be beautiful as a size 2 or a size 12!" That would have been encouraging if she hadn't been a size 0. I'm pretty sure she hadn't had a meal in several years. It just made me mad.

In the grocery line today I picked up a People magazine and on the cover were three ultra skinny people and the tag line : "Half their size! Learn their secrets!" I don't want to know their secrets.

Everyday I get emails or junk mail or something about how I can be skinnier. You can't look anywhere without it being shoved in your face that you are not good enough the way you are.

So I have made a new years resolution.

They can shove it! That is not very nice talk so don't tell my mom I said that but its how I feel.

I never worried about my weight until I was in my mid twenties. I have now gained and lost the same 15 pounds for the last 13 years. I'm done. I threw the scale out a long time ago because I tend to have an obsessive personality and I would wake up each morning with the my first thought being "What is it going to say today?" Not necessarily a very healthy way to start your day. But here's the thing. When you are really skinny people tell you how good you look. When you gain weight they don't. I've been in the position of having lost a good bit of weight post baby and have everyone tell me how good I look. So I began to think if I lost 5 more pounds I'd look even better and sure enough I got even more compliments. So if loose 5 more pounds, etc.... It is exhausting physically and mentally to keep that up.

So I have 2 new years resolutions this year:

1) To run this race and to run it well. I want to finish strong. I'm excited that this is the year I will run my first 1/2 marathon. It is not something I ever thought I would do.

2) To exercise self discipline. I have some specifics in mind but it's not the normal exercise EVERY day or loose a million pounds. But the overall goal is to be healthy. I am going to begin to limit my Diet Coke intake. Slowly but surely I want to be down to 1 or 2 a day by the race. Also, both of my children have Celiac Disease. This means in a nut shell that they eat Gluten Free. Although I tested negative for the disease I am not convinced and am going to eat gluten free for at least 8 weeks.

I want to memorize more scripture and to help my kids memorize more scripture.

I am also going to exercise self discipline in my way of thinking. Rely on prayer and scripture to remind me that while that no name celebrity doesn't really think a size 12 is beautiful, my Savior does and His desire is for me to honor him. And in being healthy I can serve Him and honor him.

2011 is going to be great! Starting with refocusing after the holidays and kicking training into high gear!

Happy New Year Y'all!!!!

Fun Run

Yesterday was great way to end 2010. Five out of the six of us who are going to Disney met at a nearby park to run. We have all know each other for a long time, but in everyday life our paths don't naturally cross. It was so fun to be able to all run together and catch up after the holidays and see each other's progress.

We are not all following the same training plan and 3 of the girls were scheduled to do 8 miles yesterday. I was not. I had done my 6 on Monday and ended up doing 3 yesterday. I could have done 4 or 5 but my shin splints were talking to me and I figured it was better not to push it. I wish I could have stayed though because I was really enjoying the company.

A very important decision was made yesterday also. Remarkably we may have all actually agreed on an outfit to wear for the race. We are going to wear the same thing so we can be team! Jill was describing the outfit to everyone and a girl ran by on the opposite side of the trail. Jill started pointing and saying thats it! The poor girl couldn't figure out was going on. When she finally got her ipod turned off, we told her we liked her outfit. She was really sweet and told where to get it and that it was on sale! Time to go shopping!

This run made even more excited about the whole trip. One fun thing was that even though we have trained fairly separately we were all basically at the same pace. This means we ought to be able to stay within shouting distance of each other in the race. Secondly, it's just a fun group of girls. We all have kids within just a few years of each other so we are all basically in the same place in life. We've known each other for years so we have lots of history together. It's also a comfortable group. No need to be anything but yourself.

I can't wait!

Do Over

Each year our church sponsors a 5K race. It's held in August and hundreds of people participate. Twelve years ago I was one of those people. I was 3 months postpartem....as in....I had just had a baby. I was not exercising at all. I was still nursing a baby who slept not at all. And I still had that yucky, sweaty, leaky, I just had a baby feeling. Somebody say you know what I mean!

Anyway, I ran into some long time friends who were running the 5K. They said I should come with them. No, No I say. I'm not in shape at all. It'll be fun they reply. We are mostly going to walk anyway. Well, Ok I say. Truth is I just wanted to walk and chat with my friends.

The starting gun goes off and so do my friends. I hung with them about 30 seconds and I was done. The next half hour was brutal. Finally I see a table ahead and people cheering. Thank the good Lord... This was over! Then I see it.... the sign that says Mile One!

It took every ounce of self respect I had to not flag down a car and have them take me back. I began to realize that there were only three of us left at the back of the race. Me and 2 old ladies walking and talking. I fought the tears as I tried to take a short cut and the race people (who were supposed "friends") made me stay on course. Than as the finish line came into view one of the old ladies passed me. That move stole from me the last ounce of self respect I had left and I slinked across the finish line 2nd to last. I did not stop walking until I reached my car. I came home, took a shower and have rarely spoken of this until now.

Now...I have redeemed myself!

Saturday I ran a 5K. And I did in fact run it! Most of it anyway. My wonderful friend Jill and my equally wonderful husband ran by my side the whole time. Both of them could have run it so much faster and better but they hung with me and at mile 2 when I thought I was going to die Jill held out her arm for me to hang onto. I am blessed.

When we turned toward the finish line I realized I was about 30 seconds from my goal of 36 minutes. That clock holds some kind of magic power because something took hold of me and I took off. Actually it may have been Jill that took hold of me. Whatever it was I ran faster than I ever have. As we neared the finish line I hear my compassionate and encouraging friend say: "No way you're beating me!" and she surged ahead. I finished in 36:01. I missed it by one second, but I was really pleased! I couldn't figure out why I had struggled so much. We had run 3 miles many times. The I discovered we had run at an 11:36 pace. That was a full minute faster per mile pace than our fastest training run. Holy Cow!

I'm so glad Jill had me do a race because I had no idea we were running that fast (it's relative..I know it's not that fast). It was not a big race at all, but when everyone took off so did I and I'm not sure I could have slowed down. It was really good practice and I hope to do a few more races between now and The Big One!

The race itself was a little disappointing. There was no T-shirt and no race number. So nothing much to mark my first real 5K race. But what I will always remember is my friend and my husband standing by me. I am truly blessed! Here we are before the race:

I would show you a picture of me afterwards, but it involves dry heaves and a very red face. Not pretty. I did buy myself a new running shirt in honor of the race but its mostly hidden by my jacket. It was pretty though.

We have big week this week. The intensity is picking up. I'm excited though. For the first time I think I might actually do this and do it reasonably well.

I did draw the line in the sand at 21 degrees. No early run tomorrow. I will wait for afternoon thank you very much! Actually Jill gave me a choice. Early morning treadmill or afternoon on the road. I wish she had given me a choice about how many miles!

It was a great weekend and as bad as I felt immediately following the race by the time we had gotten home Jill had talked me into a 10K called Chill in the Hills. Let me repeat that CHILL in the HILLS.

I think she slipped me some koolaid!